You Don't Want a Cheap Wedding, Trust Me!

I hate the word cheap, it is a dirty dirty word and should be expelled from the English language and therefore never again used in the wedding industry. Sure, something cheap is low in cost but it is also low in quality.

So many brides are looking for cheap photography, entertainment, catering, etc. and when I am asked who those "cheap" vendors are I am normally a little stunned. Sorry, I don't refer cheap vendors, some may be more affordable than others, but none offer a cheap quality.

I myself was a Recessionista Bride looking to get the most from my budget so I can relate to the brides who are seeking the benefits of a "cheap" vendor but please don't compromise the quality of your wedding day just to save a few bucks. There are definitely some very quality vendors around that are affordable for your budget. Trust me, I found them and my wedding was far from one that was lacking quality.

One more thing, you may have noticed already but try and replace the word cheap with affordable. Beyond the fact that it's a nicer sounding word, I also find it less insulting. No vendor wants to be known as the cheap guy in town.

Ditch the Pre-Made Timelines

Is anyone else frustrated with the pre-made timelines that all of the wedding magazines and websites are providing? They frustrate me because I see brides using them as a resource and just getting stressed out in the process.

Every couple's planning timeline and situation are different, so I don't think it's appropriate for everyone to use the same timeline. Especially since most timelines are based upon a 12 month period and we know not everyone has a 12 month engagement. I sincerely suggest ditching the pre-made timeline and creating something that suits your situation.

To get you started, here is what is important. First, before you do anything else, create a budget! (yes, the exclamation point is necessary!) With the excitement of engagement comes the immediate need to start planning but without a budget where do you even start? Well, many brides just start planning and claim they have no budget. Even if your budget is a million dollars, you still have a budget. Create one and I promise your planning will be less stressful.

You should of course then choose the date followed by venues for both ceremony and reception. I know that this can be challenging, especially if you have your heart set on specific venues but use your problem solving skills and I know you can work it out.

After the date and venues are chosen you need to hire a photographer. Good photographers book fast and unless you have weekday wedding you don't have time to wait. Sorry if this stresses you out but it's true. Now, you have a date set, you've chosen venues and you have a photographer...now you can breathe for a few moments.

At this point, you should begin researching other vendors and meeting with those that best suit your style. If you have more than 6 months before your wedding I certainly wouldn't rush this phase. Take your time and meet with lots of different vendors in each category and find the ones that you like the best and really want to work with. This phase can be time consuming, but in the end the better relationship you have with these people the more enjoyable your wedding will be.

The pre-made timelines touch on things like asking your bridal party to participate, creating a gift registry, finalizing plans for your honeymoon, etc. and while these are all important aspects of your wedding I don't feel that they need to be part of your timeline. The simpler this "checklist" is for you the better.

I obviously didn't touch on everything that should be included, like buying your dress, creating a guest list, and choosing linens because you need to do that when you are ready. Face the fact that some things can't be done a year before your wedding.

P.S. Please leave a comment if you would like to know what timing I suggest for a different aspect of your planning that I haven't included in this post.

Don't Be a No Show!

As I have mentioned before, I help out at Miss Ruby Boutique every Saturday and I love it! It allows me to witness brides in action and help them in another capacity. Last Saturday however, I was very disappointed in the actions of a few brides. I am not sure why, but when brides appear to be uneducated (in a sense of wedding planning) it always bothers me. Most likely because I feel the main purpose of this blog is to educate brides throughout their planning process and guide them to make good decisions.

Anyway, on Saturday there were 2 no show appointments. To many of you this may seem like a ridiculous reason to be upset and at first I wasn't but then I started thinking.

Brides were calling all day long hoping to get a last minute appointment for that day. Unfortunately, we were completely booked and I had to turn them away. But, really if the brides who didn't show up for their appointment had canceled I probably could have accommodated some of those other brides.

My point here is that everyone's time is important and if for some reason you can't attend a meeting or appointment just let us know. We will be happy to reschedule and accommodate you in any way that we can.

Still aren't convinced it's important to cancel? Think of it like this. By canceling your appointment or meeting you are opening up an opportunity for another bride. Maybe you are making her planning less stressful, allowing her an opportunity to hire a vendor before her date is booked, or just allowing her to do a little more planning that day. For whatever reason, remember that you are helping her.

Please, please, please, cancel the appointments you can't attend. It will make me feel so much better.

How NOT to Act at a Consultation

You may not realize this but when you attend an initial consultation you too are being interviewed as much as the vendor you are meeting with. Yep, believe it or not, vendors do turn clients away. Here's the truth. Vendors obviously want a bride's business but more importantly we want to work with clients that mesh well with our style and are pleasant to work with. With that said, unfortunately, not all potential clients will be extended a contract.

So, here are some examples of what not to do during an initial consultation that may influence whether or not a vendor extends a contract to you.

At no point during the meeting should you answer your cell phone. It is very awkward to sit there and listen to someone else's conversation while of course, you are pretending not to listen. 9 times out of 10 it is not an emergency and can probably wait another 20 minutes until the meeting is over. And, if you are wondering, saying "excuse me" doesn't make this situation okay.

Don't spend half of the meeting bickering with your mom about wedding plans, especially those that don't have anything to do with your current meeting. This is also an awkward moment for vendors. Whose side do you take, the bride or the mother's? And yes, we will be forced to take a side and it isn’t pleasant.

Leave your groom bashing comments at home. Vendors obviously want to contribute to healthy and successful marriages and don't want to hear that you feel your groom is inadequate to make decisions or that you already have your second wedding planned.

As you can see, the way that you act during your initial consultation can really influence your future relationships with vendors. Read yesterday's post for how to appropriately act during a consult.

P.S. Some of the above examples were dramatized during the process of writing this post and may not be described exactly as they first occurred.

Advice for Initial Consultations

Brides are typically nervous when they first begin meeting with potential vendors. I don't completely understand it but it's true. This should be an enjoyable time in your planning process and I don't want you to feel anxiety, so here is some advice.

1. Be calm. We understand that planning a wedding is stressful but we want to know that you are organized and can deal with {at least a little} stress. If you are calm the discussion will flow naturally and we will be able to learn much more about your wedding and your expectations.

2. Have a clear vision. Before you attend an initial consultation discuss with your fiance (and maybe family) the level of service you are seeking. It is always uncomfortable when surprises arise in conversation and someone doesn't know what is going on.

3. Have a budget. For some reason discussing money always seems awkward. I've been there, I know. However, this is no excuse not to discuss a budget before meeting with a vendor. We can't even begin to help you find the best service if we don't know how much you can spend. By the way, no matter what anyone says no {respectable} vendor is going to charge you more just because you tell us you have a large budget. We will charge you what the service is worth.

That's it! Pretty simple, huh?

Keep these few tips in mind and I promise you will feel more comfortable when you meet vendors!

A Note on Negotiating

This post is very straight forward and completely my personal opinion. If you don't wish to know how about I feel about price negotiating, come back tomorrow for The City's Best premiere.

An email from a vendor in the local wedding industry sparked my thoughts regarding the act of negotiating prices during your planning process.

Many brides are planning a wedding on a budget and I totally respect (and suggest) that. However, constantly asking for a discount is inappropriate. You may not realize this, but when you ask for a discount you are decreasing the value of the service that a vendor is offering and you are flat out suggesting that their service isn't worth the money. The conversation can become awkward and also puts the vendor in an odd position. You are asking them to quickly decide between cheapening their value and making a sale or standing behind the quality of their service.

Now, since many vendors do offer an off-season or a non-Saturday discount, there is a proper way to discuss the matter. Simply ask the vendor for their different pricing structures and you can do the math yourself. If you do happen to find a vendor that does offer a discount don't continue to try and talk them down. It's just rude.

So, the next time you are considering approaching the topic of a discount, keep in mind the proper way to do so and remember that it may lead to an awkward conversation.

Don't Leave Us Hanging

Please.

Often times brides meet with many different vendors within an expertise and hire one but never contact those that they don't wish to hire. This can be really frustrating for vendors. There is a lot of time and creativity that goes into customizing a proposal and it would be nice to get some feedback and possibly an explanation from those potential clients that don't follow through.

I am not saying that you need to write a novel to every vendor that you don't hire throughout your planning process but a short email or phone call would be a nice gesture to those vendors who have shared with you thoughts and ideas about your wedding.

I don't have much personal experience with this issue but I know that it is something other vendors deal with frequently. Be courteous and let us know if we aren't the right fit. We want your wedding to be fabulous and will respect your decisions. Just let us know.