Wedding Planning Q&A | Part 2

This weeks question comes from a reader, Liz.

"Here's a question I have been stumped on for months...We are having a small intimate ceremony at Villa Terrace (okay, not that small 120 people) but we are inviting another 100 to the reception at Lake Park Bistro. How do I word the invitations to those not "invited" to the ceremony."

Thank you for the question Liz, invitation wording is something that almost all brides struggle with at some point during their planning.

First off all, to make the invitation process easier on you, I would keep the designs very similar for both invitations. Also, not knowing much about your wedding other than the venues, I would take a more formal approach.

For wording the reception only invitation there are various ways to appropriately invite the guests but I would keep it simple and say something like:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith invite you to an evening reception to celebrate their wedding.

Also, be sure to include the time and address of Lake Park Bistro.

One more thing to consider is timing. If these guests are only invited for a portion of the reception (such as dancing) make sure that you pad a little bit of extra time in your schedule just incase your dinner (assuming you are having one) takes longer than expected. You definitely don't want the guests that arrive later to show up while your other guests are still seated and eating. It can be a very awkward situation.

If you have a question to be answered leave a comment and I will answer it next week!

Don't Be a No Show!

As I have mentioned before, I help out at Miss Ruby Boutique every Saturday and I love it! It allows me to witness brides in action and help them in another capacity. Last Saturday however, I was very disappointed in the actions of a few brides. I am not sure why, but when brides appear to be uneducated (in a sense of wedding planning) it always bothers me. Most likely because I feel the main purpose of this blog is to educate brides throughout their planning process and guide them to make good decisions.

Anyway, on Saturday there were 2 no show appointments. To many of you this may seem like a ridiculous reason to be upset and at first I wasn't but then I started thinking.

Brides were calling all day long hoping to get a last minute appointment for that day. Unfortunately, we were completely booked and I had to turn them away. But, really if the brides who didn't show up for their appointment had canceled I probably could have accommodated some of those other brides.

My point here is that everyone's time is important and if for some reason you can't attend a meeting or appointment just let us know. We will be happy to reschedule and accommodate you in any way that we can.

Still aren't convinced it's important to cancel? Think of it like this. By canceling your appointment or meeting you are opening up an opportunity for another bride. Maybe you are making her planning less stressful, allowing her an opportunity to hire a vendor before her date is booked, or just allowing her to do a little more planning that day. For whatever reason, remember that you are helping her.

Please, please, please, cancel the appointments you can't attend. It will make me feel so much better.

A Note on Negotiating

This post is very straight forward and completely my personal opinion. If you don't wish to know how about I feel about price negotiating, come back tomorrow for The City's Best premiere.

An email from a vendor in the local wedding industry sparked my thoughts regarding the act of negotiating prices during your planning process.

Many brides are planning a wedding on a budget and I totally respect (and suggest) that. However, constantly asking for a discount is inappropriate. You may not realize this, but when you ask for a discount you are decreasing the value of the service that a vendor is offering and you are flat out suggesting that their service isn't worth the money. The conversation can become awkward and also puts the vendor in an odd position. You are asking them to quickly decide between cheapening their value and making a sale or standing behind the quality of their service.

Now, since many vendors do offer an off-season or a non-Saturday discount, there is a proper way to discuss the matter. Simply ask the vendor for their different pricing structures and you can do the math yourself. If you do happen to find a vendor that does offer a discount don't continue to try and talk them down. It's just rude.

So, the next time you are considering approaching the topic of a discount, keep in mind the proper way to do so and remember that it may lead to an awkward conversation.

A Guide to Tipping Your Vendors

While you are in the beginning planning stages of your wedding you may not be incorporating the extra money into your budget for gratuities, so I want to ensure that it’s on your radar from the beginning.

Many vendors, such as caterers, include their gratuity within their contracts so be sure to read them carefully. If the gratuity is not included the general standard is 15-20%. The actual amount is your discretion based on the service that you receive. However, even if you have a below average experience you should tip something. Think of it like this, if you were at a restaurant you would never leave without giving a little something as a tip and the same applies here.

Now there is also another rule that you may be familiar with. If the vendor owns their own company it is not necessary to tip them because the fee that you are paying for their service is going directly to them. However, I don’t completely agree with this. The "rule" makes it seem like all of your fee is going directly into their pocket but in reality it's paying for expenses to keep their business up and running. Also, the owner of the business is doing more work for you than any employee would. Again, this concept is your discretion.

If you would like suggestions for actual amounts to tip vendors, read this article from Martha Stewart Weddings.

Tips for Toasting

Quite frankly, I have seen so many terrible toasts at weddings. You know, the ones filled with embarrassing college stories, rambling on and on and on about complete nonsense, and the ones that completely forget to even congratulate the bride and groom.

Today, I am setting the record straight and providing tips for giving a meaningful and appropriate toast.

1. Unless you are an incredible public speaker I don’t suggest you wing it. You shouldn’t write down your entire toast and read it from a piece of paper but you should take down a few notes to ensure you stay on track and don’t fumble.

2. Make it short and sweet, ideally less than 5 minutes. At most weddings there are many toasts to be given and guests sometimes have a difficult time remaining engaged if one participant carries on for too long.

3. A toast is not a speech. Your time on the microphone is not meant to share embarrassing childhood, high school or college stories. It is also forbidden to mention any previous relationships, no matter how relevant you feel it is to your toast. It isn’t.

4. Focus on the couple. The toast is not about you, it’s about the bride and groom. Face them when you are toasting and remember to congratulate them before you end your toast.

5. For bonus points, if you are the best man, tell the bride she looks beautiful. I just love that!


Happy toasting!

How to {properly} hold a wine glass

With the holiday season approaching, I feel this discussion is very necessary. I am constantly witnessing people inappropriately holding a wine glass and to be honest, it is one of my biggest pet peeves.

This lesson is easiest to discuss using pictures. So, follow along.

Please, always hold your wine glass from the stem. Holding the glass by the stem ensures the temperature and aromas of the wine are perfect for enjoyment.

Do not, under any circumstance, hold your glass like any of the following:


Yes, you are holding the glass by the stem but the death grip makes you look ridiculous and purple hands are never attractive.

The glass is not a basketball. There is no need to palm it.

Ths is just simply ridculous. There is no way that this is comfortable.

Please, the next time you attend a celebration, hold the glass properly!


Cheers!